espiritista

what is your idea of hell

a good friend of mine tried to be cute one time and told his date that his idea of hell was sitting on a chair, hands tied behind his back, watching ballet. the date was, to his surprise, a ballerina.

i can never stand the smell of burnt clutch in jeepneys and buses.

***

going to the airport last sunday, i had the misfortune of flagging a cab who was stupid enough to get caught messing with the taxi meter. it was the old lefty trick, you know, he talks to you incessantly to sort of distract you. he constantly pulls down his left hand to touch something behind the left side of his seat. and voila! every time the meter changes you get increments of P5 and P10.

so i played the little manager who wants to screw his company but only if somebody was kind enough to give him a blank receipt. told the cabbie id gladly skim money off my company, but id rather not because if i got caught, my name's busted and i wouldn't find another job. point was this motherfucker plays by some rules.

so i had the good sense to read the newspaper as my own disguise, when in fact i was looking at the meter. when we stopped in an intersection, the meter flashed plus 10 bucks in two solid meters! so i told the cabbie the meter was freaking me out.

manong ambilis ata ng metro nyo

manong fumbles. a mabilis ba

oho manong kakapatak lang tapos lumampas ka lang sa pintura ng tawiran sampung piso na nadagdag.

manong scratches something. i didnt fucking care what it was he scratched.

to save him, i suggest something brilliant. manong ganito na lang. patayin mo na lang yang metro mo tapos bigyan na lang kita ng 250. ganun talaga binabayad ko sa mga taksi pag nagpapahatid ako sa airport. (actually, it's usually 300 from my house to the airport)

manong obliges me. and for the rest of the trip he was as meek as a lamb.

tang ina mo hayup kang drayber ka. kung hindi ko napansin yun aabot ng 400 metro mo.

in manila, of ten taxis i flag down, i will be extremely lucky if i could get 4 of them who will not make me go through hell like this. or its other cousin, contracting. Id much rather prefer commuting by bus or jeepneys. but then i hate the smell of burnt clutch linings.

Ah, life is not perfect.

posted by dyeproks @ 5:18 AM