12.20.2005

bukas/loob

According to Catholic doctrine, people are born with consciences. It is supposed to be God's voice in man's soul, helping to create decisions which are pragmatic enough, distilled from the grand vagueness of the universal laws. Thus, while the universal moral law forbids killing, the conscience can tell us to kill in times of danger to ourselves, like in instances of self-defense.

On the other hand, according to Freud, people "grow" a superego. This happens at the first instance of a moral obligation imposed on the child by some moral authority such as the mother or father, or guardian, like when a child is told in gestures not to do this or that, through some finger wagging.The superego sort of tells the ego the moral high ground, as opposed to the bestial instincts of the id. The ego acts as the one that decides which way to go. Following the impulse of the id will lead to crime, while blindly following the superego will lead to starvation.

Tagalogs have a word that is virtually untranslateable: "loob" although that, i suspect, is the closest we have to conscience. This loob is used idiomatically in a myriad ways to the point that it loses its depth sometimes and we take it for granted. But take a look again, "loob" can either be "magaan," connoting fondness, or "mabigat," meaning aversion. "Mahina ang loob" means a person who lacks fortitude. "Palagay ang loob" is something friends feel about each other. Of course, "mabuting loob" has got to be the sweetest thing a person can be!

My conscience is my kids. I know when they grow up, I will have to account my actions not to God (at least not yet hehehe), but to them. "They will understand some day" is definitely not good enough. So i hope i don't screw up.

Every parent fears the day when he will have to face his children and defend himself.

2 Comments:

At 3:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our children make us want to become better people, true. But I also feel that for as long as our children feel that they are loved, we can screw up and not automatically become wretched parents, just wretched people. It's almost strange but as I grow older, I find I'm less interested in seeing my parents as pillars of morality than in seeing them as human beings, with real stories of despair, triumph, failure, revelation, to tell.

 
At 5:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You write well, with feeling.

I am not a parent yet. All I can say is, good luck on your kids. As long as you love them, everything will be okay.

 

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